Marmee March Would Never

Ugh is Substack my new identity?! Am I being so obnoxious 24 hours in?! I fear so, but the vibe on Substack seems to be one of “write/share/say when you want! Who cares! Create! Write! Be YOU!”

Yes, I’m coming out of the gate hot and will slow down, but it’s like I’ve had all this creative writing bottled up that suddenly has a place to be poured out onto. I have a dozen notes on my phone of things I’ve written over the last few months that I wanted to share (and almost did), but Instagram never felt like the right place. I was too scared of what people would think, too worried about offending others, too long-winded for the “rules” of Instagram. Very grateful my sweet friend encouraged me to be on here.

The following note in particular is one I’ve gone back and forth too many times in sharing, but it’s been on my heart to express. I wrote this in early February:

I recently finished reading The Secret Garden and Little Women, two stories I loved growing up. It was like reading them for the first time, reading them as a 30-year-old mother, not as a little girl. My favorite characters weren’t Mary Lennox and Amy March this time, but Susan Sowerby and Margaret “Marmee” March.

Two women raising a handful of children with undeniable devotion, tenderness and love. They are deeply respected by both men and women, richer and poorer than them, and often sought for advice within their communities and by their children. They both have strong faith and teach their children passionately about God’s goodness, pointing them to Him in any situation. I assume Susan Sowerby’s husband and father of their 12 (TWELVE) children is off fighting in WWI, as we never know him, and Mr. March is away for most of the novel, enlisted in the Union Army. Both women work so hard, “solo parenting,” taking care of their children, their homes and their neighbors, with hardly any complaint or negativity, constantly thanking God for what He has blessed them with, even though they don’t have luxuries or fancy things and are considered “poor.” They treat everyone with grace and generosity, even if they’re not always deserving of it. Their children absolutely adore and worship them.

I found far more inspiration from these two fictional women than I have from the most popular influencers on social media recently. Can you imagine what Mrs. Sowerby and Mrs. March would think if we showed them Instagram influencers? Of course, even in their times, there were women who were very wealthy and enjoyed life’s luxuries with large homes, house staff, the finest clothes and carriages and all those things. Those dynamics are as old as time, just presented differently in the 21st century. But imagine if women consumed Susan and Marmee’s content, rather than watching someone complain about their Chick-Fil-A buffalo sauce spilling onto their $100 leggings in their $100,000 car on their way to get their lips filled after dropping their children off. I mean I get it, buffalo sauce is hard to get out, but that’s what we are consuming on a daily basis. Can you imagine Marmee March seeing that and being like “ugh yeah I mean I just had to go give some blankets to starving soldiers while my husband is on his death bed in another state, literally no idea how he’s doing because I can’t talk to him, and I have 4 teenage girls to solo parent for the 693 day in a row and I’m really tired of being poor, but I’ve been praying for a grateful heart and God has blessed me!”

What if we consumed content of gratitude, joy, a love of God, a love for nature, patience , generosity (AUTHENTIC generosity, not just going to a fundraiser to link clothes and rub elbows), a love of parenting, hard work, daily purpose, pride in our motherly duties, tenderness. Don’t you think people would be so much happier? I do.

If you are a mother who enjoys reading, I highly encourage you to read these classics. I laughed and cried throughout their stories, and they have motivated me to better myself, my attitudes and how I parent my children. Very refreshing to unplug, pick up a book and finish it feeling happy, grateful and inspired.

Please know that the people-pleaser in me is absolutely going to panic over this post, so I’m really, really sorry if this offends you!!!